MY HERO -- MY MOTHER
At the end, ground down by a life of service as a registered nurse, and subject of abuse by our alcoholic father and husband, she slowly drifted into a hazy, floating dementia.
Alzheimer's took over late in her life, and she wandered about surrounded by whomever I could cloister into her life to watch over her. I was " in charge " of her life. Hard to do-she in Tucson, me working for 3 Indian tribes in Oregon. B then, I hated that job.
My sister in Yuma, Arizona had made arrangements to move her from Tucson to there. My wife and I pulled up stakes, headed south, and moved into my hold home, still in my name from marriage #2. I was home again.
When my father beat me at home in Philadelphia when I was a kid, Mom got between us. When I grew larger, she declared, " now that you two are big, no more fighting between you."
Curious...I never laid a hand on him. It was all one way.
She made me join the YMCA and take a lifeguard course. I failed and left. She made me go back. She threatened the coach, MAKE him stay or else. I stayed,...and passed. That summer, I got a life guards job and saved three kids from drowning.
I couldn't read. She showed me how to focus on pages to absorb the work and remember it. Now, at 75, its unusual for me not to have at least three books open and in progress around the house. During public school sessions, teachers counsel night, Mom was always there. Now and then, when he could break away from Bowling, Cards with the Boyz night, Semi-annual Beer Festival; wit day boyz night, he might come along.
His encouragement for me to read? Read the book, or you don't eat.
For Mom, I read, discussed and now and then, got a movie ticket. When I did something wrong, which was often, she always backed me up, then 'creatively' discussed it later. She was always there.
She always told me I was a tough kid to raise, and now that at my age, I see why. She had to devote so much energy to make up for the badness I was getting from Senior to compensate for the negative vibes in the house.
In the end, a couple of days before she left, she apologized by saying that she should have gotten a " better father " for me. I felt so bad for her, about to leave and having her conscience weigh her down like that. I didn't know what to say, except, " Mom, you are my hero. You've always been there for me, and I'll always remember you for that. "
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Alzheimer's took over late in her life, and she wandered about surrounded by whomever I could cloister into her life to watch over her. I was " in charge " of her life. Hard to do-she in Tucson, me working for 3 Indian tribes in Oregon. B then, I hated that job.
When my father beat me at home in Philadelphia when I was a kid, Mom got between us. When I grew larger, she declared, " now that you two are big, no more fighting between you."
Curious...I never laid a hand on him. It was all one way.
She made me join the YMCA and take a lifeguard course. I failed and left. She made me go back. She threatened the coach, MAKE him stay or else. I stayed,...and passed. That summer, I got a life guards job and saved three kids from drowning.
I couldn't read. She showed me how to focus on pages to absorb the work and remember it. Now, at 75, its unusual for me not to have at least three books open and in progress around the house. During public school sessions, teachers counsel night, Mom was always there. Now and then, when he could break away from Bowling, Cards with the Boyz night, Semi-annual Beer Festival; wit day boyz night, he might come along.
His encouragement for me to read? Read the book, or you don't eat.
For Mom, I read, discussed and now and then, got a movie ticket. When I did something wrong, which was often, she always backed me up, then 'creatively' discussed it later. She was always there.
She always told me I was a tough kid to raise, and now that at my age, I see why. She had to devote so much energy to make up for the badness I was getting from Senior to compensate for the negative vibes in the house.
In the end, a couple of days before she left, she apologized by saying that she should have gotten a " better father " for me. I felt so bad for her, about to leave and having her conscience weigh her down like that. I didn't know what to say, except, " Mom, you are my hero. You've always been there for me, and I'll always remember you for that. "
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