-My New Pacemaker and my daughter
This may seem foolish, but it is how I felt at the time. December 8th, I checked into UMC hospital here in Tucson and had a pacemaker installed. At the time, I seriously didn't think I would walk out. I just didn't.
A million thoughts tore through my mind, too numerous to mention here, but I was not afraid, I was resigned.
Anyway, my blood pressure the night before was normal, that morning normal, and in the O.R. was 110/75.
The surgeon asked if the staff had medicated me, and they said, "no."
He juiced me with the usual quiet/down meds and off I went. As of this writing, I carry a wrist watch sized
lump in my left shoulder with a long metal tail woven through arteries down into the bottom of my heart.
My life changed from that Pacemaker operation, almost immediately. Thank God and Dr. Peter Ott.
As I awoke, my daughter arrived as I drifted out of the fog. She crawled into the hospital bed with me on my left side curled up with her head on my chest and nestled in beside me, left arm around my chest, feet next to mind, and gently fell asleep for an hour.
She felt so good and close, I cried quietly. Sandi looked at us together and smiled, she knew how much it meant to me. I felt closer to my youngest daughter at that moment that in the past thirty years. It was a moment I will remember forever.
Because of a misunderstanding between my child and myself, she is mad at me now, and hasn't spoken with me for quite some time. I hope she comes back. She is the only thing I have left from 18 years of marriage to her mother and forty years of hope in her that makes the chance of happiness for the tail end of my life.
My wife Sandi and I will live a happy and hopefully a long life together, but without the joy that my child does bring to me, the final bricks of that wall will leave a large hole in my life.
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A million thoughts tore through my mind, too numerous to mention here, but I was not afraid, I was resigned.
Anyway, my blood pressure the night before was normal, that morning normal, and in the O.R. was 110/75.
The surgeon asked if the staff had medicated me, and they said, "no."
He juiced me with the usual quiet/down meds and off I went. As of this writing, I carry a wrist watch sized
lump in my left shoulder with a long metal tail woven through arteries down into the bottom of my heart.
My life changed from that Pacemaker operation, almost immediately. Thank God and Dr. Peter Ott.
As I awoke, my daughter arrived as I drifted out of the fog. She crawled into the hospital bed with me on my left side curled up with her head on my chest and nestled in beside me, left arm around my chest, feet next to mind, and gently fell asleep for an hour.
She felt so good and close, I cried quietly. Sandi looked at us together and smiled, she knew how much it meant to me. I felt closer to my youngest daughter at that moment that in the past thirty years. It was a moment I will remember forever.
Because of a misunderstanding between my child and myself, she is mad at me now, and hasn't spoken with me for quite some time. I hope she comes back. She is the only thing I have left from 18 years of marriage to her mother and forty years of hope in her that makes the chance of happiness for the tail end of my life.
My wife Sandi and I will live a happy and hopefully a long life together, but without the joy that my child does bring to me, the final bricks of that wall will leave a large hole in my life.
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