NJ Teen Suing Parents for College Tuition ----Raising your Kids
This case in New Jersey probably hit a nerve with a million fathers all over America, it certainly did with me. This 18 year old spoiled brat of a female post pubescent teenager most probably given everything coddled by her Dad who saved her college tuition, gave her a car (most probably) and everything else he could think of, is now in court, being sued.
She is rebelling because, as Dad says, she refuses to obey a few house rules. A curfew, I'm sure is one, he doesn't approve of her boyfriend (where have I heard THAT ONE before), and one or two more written down somewhere on my self imposed prison cell of guilt.
I feel for that father, who was probably trying hard to be a friend to his daughter. I made the same miserable mistakes to my two daughters. I tried to be their buddies. BIG mistake. I was not their buddy. I was their father. I should have set an example, not be their pal. I regret that, and will until my dying day. I failed them.
I was a bad father. Raising two daughters, or trying to, in the 70's through the end of the 80's, I made a lot of mistakes. I forgot that as the head of the family, I was supposed to lead, set an example, be strong, I did not have the Eisenhower maxim written on my shaving mirror - "it's easier to pull a string than to push it."
Everybody, everywhere, from every facet in our lives had more influence on my kids than I did. During that period, I was busting my aggies just trying to make a living, holding onto my job(s). Living in Tucson, by a stroke of luck, I landed a mall manager's job running the 7th largest mall on the globe. Later, Vice President of an aviation company in town, which turned out to be a CIA sub contractor. (nice of them NOT to tell me when I signed on).
Sword fighting everyday, all the time. Oh, president of the local school board, multi-million dollar budgets managed in all those jobs. My family suffered, I suffered.
I came from a poor neighborhood in south Philadelphia, my father an oil worker in Hog Island, south Philadelphia. My values? Thanks to Dad, work hard, be honest, don't ever hit women, be polite, go to college, get good jobs, save money, provide for your family. The husband, father was the guy who did all that stuff. Simple...so I thought.
Then came, the movement. All of a sudden, fathers stopped being fathers. They became little more than sperm donors with wallets. Then, we became objects in lawsuits in divorce cases as defendants case celebre "child abusers" = funny coincidences, right about the time divorces came along. Result? Most were dismissed, divorces granted, most fathers lost their visitation.
Some children spent their youth in treatment.
Some fathers spent those years in deep regret, angst, and lost. So much for the golden years, eh?
Someone asked me recently, " Do you have any regrets? If you could, what would you do differently? " Great question. I had a recruiting sergeant in the Air Force who asked me if I wanted to re-up......and I said no.
That's where I would start over, I think.
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She is rebelling because, as Dad says, she refuses to obey a few house rules. A curfew, I'm sure is one, he doesn't approve of her boyfriend (where have I heard THAT ONE before), and one or two more written down somewhere on my self imposed prison cell of guilt.
I feel for that father, who was probably trying hard to be a friend to his daughter. I made the same miserable mistakes to my two daughters. I tried to be their buddies. BIG mistake. I was not their buddy. I was their father. I should have set an example, not be their pal. I regret that, and will until my dying day. I failed them.
I was a bad father. Raising two daughters, or trying to, in the 70's through the end of the 80's, I made a lot of mistakes. I forgot that as the head of the family, I was supposed to lead, set an example, be strong, I did not have the Eisenhower maxim written on my shaving mirror - "it's easier to pull a string than to push it."
Everybody, everywhere, from every facet in our lives had more influence on my kids than I did. During that period, I was busting my aggies just trying to make a living, holding onto my job(s). Living in Tucson, by a stroke of luck, I landed a mall manager's job running the 7th largest mall on the globe. Later, Vice President of an aviation company in town, which turned out to be a CIA sub contractor. (nice of them NOT to tell me when I signed on).
Sword fighting everyday, all the time. Oh, president of the local school board, multi-million dollar budgets managed in all those jobs. My family suffered, I suffered.
I came from a poor neighborhood in south Philadelphia, my father an oil worker in Hog Island, south Philadelphia. My values? Thanks to Dad, work hard, be honest, don't ever hit women, be polite, go to college, get good jobs, save money, provide for your family. The husband, father was the guy who did all that stuff. Simple...so I thought.
Then came, the movement. All of a sudden, fathers stopped being fathers. They became little more than sperm donors with wallets. Then, we became objects in lawsuits in divorce cases as defendants case celebre "child abusers" = funny coincidences, right about the time divorces came along. Result? Most were dismissed, divorces granted, most fathers lost their visitation.
Some children spent their youth in treatment.
Some fathers spent those years in deep regret, angst, and lost. So much for the golden years, eh?
Someone asked me recently, " Do you have any regrets? If you could, what would you do differently? " Great question. I had a recruiting sergeant in the Air Force who asked me if I wanted to re-up......and I said no.
That's where I would start over, I think.
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